Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Confessions of a FAT Mommy!

Ok, on my outward appearance I'm not what most people consider "fat" or overweight.  But to me, fat is a state of mind.  And let me tell you folks I am FAT.  It's battle that I have to struggle with for the rest of my life.  I am fat in my heart and soul.  I love food.  I love it, I love it, I love it.  Unfortunately for me, I was never one of those people that can eat whatever I want.  In fact I am the exact OPPOSITE of those people.  Anything I eat "sticks" as they say.  So for me, keeping my weight in control is a part of my life that I have to deal with and struggle with.  Especially since I'm a teensy bit vein...OK ! (Yes I'll admit it)  But also since I want to live a healthy lifestyle.

Anyway, enough about that I'm sure I have enough material about my weight struggles for days and days.  (I used to keep a blog on MySpace)  Back to FAT is a state of mind and it determines how you will behave in certain what I'm about to confess....

OK, so after stuffing my face for 4 days straight from Thursday to Sunday I decided that I've eaten enough and that I actually felt like a stuffed Turkey.  I had enough to eat.  I'm swollen from the sodium and looks like my waist size is expanding.  If you remember I said I was going to go on an extreme diet until Thanksgiving and well I didn't.  So I'm all resolved and stuff.  My sister told me about this 17 day diet plan that she's doing now and I figure it couldn't hurt.  Just a different spin on every other diet.  I have been through them all and once you know the basics of healthy eating, weight loss and your body, you can pretty much do any of them....or even make up your own.  So I started on I said I'm resolved here!  I bought my yogurts, made sure I had fruits for the day, drank my Green tea. Side Bar - I HATE TEA! Maybe it's because Americans stink at making tea, but I hate it.  Back to it, so anyway like I said, I'm prepared and I start my day and I'm good, but when I got home I was HUNGRY.  What happened after that was not pretty.  I ate everything in sight.  It was nasty.  But it was oh so good.  I convinced myself at that moment that it would be ok, to eat those chips because they would be gone after that and I won't have to worry about them again.  I also convinced myself that the stuffed mushrooms won't be too bad to eat and it went on like that until I ate a piece of chocolate cake and then my stomach hurt.   It was a horrible act of gluttony, not to mention a total loss of will power. =(

Why do I confess this to you all...the simple fact is that this is the daily struggle for people like me.  A constant battle of will power goes on in my head from the moment I wake up.  If I didn't have that struggle I'd be a lot less healthy, let's just leave it at that.  Well today is Wednesday, I'm back on track for now, and hopefully I'll stay that way until the next big function.  The holidays are the worst for foodies like me because there is always a function or excuse to mess up.  All any of us can do is just take it one day at a time and do the best we can.  Now back to my salad!

Until next time.



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